something is not right

need a miracle?

This is my emotional response to life right now, don't read it if you don't care.

So maybe all I have left is to go to green hills, I feel like this world is falling down around me, I need to stop running. But that doesn't always look how we desire, I thought I was running away from EBC, maybe EBC was my hiding spot. I guess I am running out of time to figure this all out. Well in all honesty it will be figured out for me. It only sucks because I am enjoying the thought of classes.

So all know what that rambling was, I may have to drop out of school because my stupid  father cannot own his responsibilities and promises. But I am giving it two weeks tops to find out what is going on. I am just sick of all this garbage. I am done, and God is showing me how to let go of him finally, I just wish that I didn't have to. I always thought that with being adopted my father would want to have a relationship with me, I guess some people just weren't meant to have children. Or I guess some people don't really want the ( sidenote: he TOm.LD me he didn't want a realtionship with me, I am not just assuming).

I want to go home now, the only problem is there is nowhere on earth left that I feel at home. I need to make a new one. I just don't know where that is yet. I want it to be here, I love EBC, as much as I hate it at the same time. Bah

Life or something like it...

Hey all.... so I haven't written in a while I will try to bring everything up to date. My trip to Kitchener was ok. Despite two bad things. 1) I am 90% sure my mom had a heart attack, but she owuldn't go to the hospital.  and 2) my doctor's apointment, yes Tabitha I went... I found out hings may be a lot more serious then I thought. There is the smallest chance in the world that I could have cancer. ( and it isn't related to smoking :P)

Besides those two things, I had a good time hangiong out at the school, and with people. And my mom and I had an awesome day we wnet to Victoria park and took pictures, she actually trusted me with her $2000 camera which surprised me. and then we went to the butterfly conservatory, I like prettiness. Then while I was at the school on the Wenesday my friend called and told me I would be seeing Rent with her the next day... Which was totally awesome. I love nad miss live theatre so much. I hope htat one day it will be in God's will for me to do some professional acting or at least working with Drama but I don't know right now what He has in store.

Home sucks, I am going crazy here already... I may move back to Res for a couple months of summer, just so I don't have to be here anymore. My dad and I are not getting along. There just ins't much left for me here, I feel like since I have gotten home I have entered a dry patch, and that scares me, because it is so easy for me to run away from God's will especially when I am here. So yeah... I also have only had one shift so far at the restaurant which is angering me, but they keep saying it will pick up and I will get more... So yeah, the other job is keeping me going.

Funny story: I got attacked by a badger.... well it didn't touch me, or even follow me, but it stood up in the Lake-- which I never knew had badgers in it-- and hissed at me. it was really funny and it made me think of CHantelle.

I have so many more stories, but I just can't think of them right now... so I love ya'll and miss ya. Oh and guys, I know I said stuff in here that will make you want to reply with "I am praying for you" but I know that already, as you know that I am praying for you, I know that it is something that is easy to reply with, but please don't. I am becoming bitter with Christians for things like that right now, empty words, hype phrases... I know they aren't meant to be, but they seem that way over the net... ok enouigh of lectuer time with Sarah.

I hop eyou are all having a great summer... Peace.